Age: the length of time during which a being or thing has existed; length of life or existence to the time spoken or referred to.
I start most of my blog posts with a definition and this one really hit me hard. I just turned 50 and I hope my life hasn’t been just that of existing. I always thought of my life as ever evolving not just a length of time. I’m amazed at how age affects people differently and how my age really affected people harder than it affected me. I had never given the phrase 50 is the new 30 much thought but as people started applying it to me, I really resented it.
I feel 50 is the new 50.
I would not go back to my 30’s as I didn’t know who I was, where I was going or what to do if I got there. The 20 years between 30 and 50 have been amazing and those of the most learning and growth. I think if I had just existed, none of those years would be as productive as they were to my becoming who I am. Please don’t misunderstand and take this post as I’ve never been at the bottom of the pit because I can assure you I have been there many times, but as hard as it was I lifted myself up and didn’t just exist.
I pushed through it and persevered.
I have a tractor trailer full of junk that follows me everyday and when I look at that trailer full of junk, I smile as it has made me who I am. I have tripped a few times and the trailer has run me over but I get up push it behind me.
I guess what I am saying is, I detest the phrase 50 is the new 30, so I’m going to pull the trailer full of my wounds, scars, mistakes, mess ups, regrets, loves, loss, failures, triumphs, accomplishments, and truly live my life, not just exist.